I have to admit that I am a novice in the world of blogging. And yes, I admit, I created this blog a while back yet I was too busy, too work-shy, too nervous (???), too this-and-that, to start writing. And of course, there was the issue of what to write. After all, there is a whole lot of real issues out there to rant about!
I admit, these are just excuses.
So, I came up with this solution. What better way to start blogging but to put up someone else’s opinion (with permission) on an issue that matters to a lot of women (yes, I admit, it’s almost cheating but hey, give me a break, will ya?). Someone I know sent me this, something she wished would have been published.
“The more the merrier for men but not the wives”
I am referring to the above article in The Star newspaper.
I applaud the research team who made this survey happen. It is interesting to know that what we assume all this while is, more or less, proven. I hope all of us, Muslim women and men alike (including the Syariah lawmakers), can learn from the results of this survey. Muslim women in polygamous marriages, are almost always at a disadvantage, and the Syariah Courts are not helping much either.
“Men in polygamous unions are happier than their wives….the first wives felt they were getting less intimacy, tenderness and love after their husbands married again.”
How is this justice to all involved?
“Most men who practice polygamy say they married again because they do not want to indulge in sex out of wedlock.”
How about indulge in sex WITH your wife first before resorting to sex with other people or out of wedlock? A novel concept for some, perhaps?
“..the practice is more prevalent in the states of Pahang, Terengganu and Kelantan.”
I wonder why…
“..polygamy had taken a financial toll on the families of the first wives. “
Men always use the religious excuse i.e Islam allows taking up to 4 wives. Yet they forget the terms and conditions required i.e BE FAIR to all your wives.
“Most of the respondents in the survey has a household income of between RM1,000 and RM3,000.”
Please enlighten me on how you can support 2 or more wives along with the kids you have with these women.
“Rotation is one of the most important elements in polygamous marriage. However, our survey shows that the husband cannot be fair to everyone as time is a scarce commodity.”
Time, money, energy – all are scarce commodities yet you marry another.
Need I say more?
That’s my Chica! I like that bit about the ‘novel’ concept of indulging sex with your wife first. The funny thing is that some men do think it’s cool and manly to fool around (mind you, some women do too!) but when it involves your wife and kids, it ain’t that cool and manly no more, mister! Funny too, that some women are willing to get into some hanky-panky with married men, knowing very well that they are married. Some of us may even be tempted to do so despite our feeling of resentment over this subject.
Perhaps we all need to have this at the back of our minds – HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR WOMANKIND!
I have this personal belief that you have a right to do whatever you want as long as you don’t harm others.
When you marry another and can’t even feed your first wife and kids, then you are harming others. When you mess around with another woman’s husband, then you are harming others.